The Old Sea Dog and the Rum-Loving Pirates

Arrr, Matey! Welcome to the Ol’ Sea Dog’s storytelling lair. While you buy Sea Dog t-shirts as gifts for your all friends, I’ll pour us a pint and tell ye the tale of the best bottle o’rum adventure as ever I did live through. 

After our last adventure, the old Sea Dog was left adrift on a ship in the midst of the sea, and though his friends had all disappeared, he didn’t lose heart. Nor did he lose weight, as the ship was still well-provisioned and Sea Dog helped himself to the bounty left in the kitchen.

When a pirate ship spotted the aimless vessel, they pursued it, and were surprised to find no one aboard except for the dalmatian. They searched the ship for valuables and took the Sea Dog aboard with them.

Lo and behold, what was their surprise and delight when they found an oak cask full of molasses in the hold of the abandoned ship.

“Oh Captain,” said the first mate, “Young Adams here knows how to distill a fine batch of rum. I propose that we land at a secluded spot, brew ourselves up a batch, and then sell it for its weight in gold at the nearest port.”

“A fine idea, matey,” the captain replied. “I know just the spot. We will make our way there at once.”

Two days later, the pirates came to an uninhabited island where they pulled into a quiet natural harbor where there was plenty of fresh water. Under Adams’s direction, the men created a number of lovely batches of rum and then set up camp to wait for it to ferment.

The Sea Dog took full advantage of the novelty of being on land, loping from one end of the beach to the other in pure, unfettered joy, and exploring all the scents and sounds of the island.

Soon, the day came when Adams said the rum was ready. “Let’s haul it aboard the ship, mates, and we’ll sell it for a good profit.”

“No doubt, no doubt,” murmured the first mate. “I just wonder if we should taste it first to be sure that it is of good quality. What say ye, captain?”

“Indeed, a small sip would be in order,” the captain said. “After all, we wouldn’t want to be run out of town for selling inferior goods.”

Just then, two of the men trudged up the beach, dragging a giant catch of fish behind them. They walked up just in time to hear this interchange between the captain and the first mate.

“Hooray!” they shouted. “A celebration in honor of the fine craft of our esteemed mate, Adams. Gather round, men! We will feast tonight!”

At the sight of the fish, the men set to work preparing a feast fit for a king, and as they sat down to eat, Adams passed around the cups.

“It’s good, eh?” one man said to another as they each took a long draught. “Wouldn’t hurt to have just a wee bit more, now would it, mate?” Vigorous nodding and cheers accompanied the proposal, and Adams was kept busy passing the cups around again and again and again. One of the older crew members pulled out a fiddle and the men started to jig late in the evening, until Adams went to draw from the tap and the barrel came up empty.

“It’s gone, mates!” he exclaimed, to a general moan of disappointment.

“Ah well,” the captain said, “We would have spent the money in port anyway. Come, let us to bed, and we’ll be off in the morning.”

To be continued.