News tagged "funny t shirt sayings" - Sea Dog Shop
Arrr, Matey! The Sea Dog has a bit of an extra growl to have suffered the indignity of being tossed like a carcass into a dark, smelly sack and hauled away over someone’s shoulder. In our last blog post, the Sea Dog and the ship’s captain, Bill, got abducted by some unknown strangers. Tramp, tramp, tramp, went their feet along the barely-visible jungle path. Bill was grateful that they stopped dragging him and made him walk, but he couldn’t convince them to free Sparky. For hours they traveled, until they crested a rise and Bill saw the sea on the other side of the island, with a ship at anchor bearing a red flag with a black skull-and-crossbones.

A rival pirate gang!

Bill’s heart sank, but there was nothing for it but to hope that his own shipmates would be close on his track. However, when he got a little further and saw the number of warrior-like pirates encamped up and down the beach, he suddenly reversed his wish and hoped that the few men who had come ashore with him in the ship’s boat to get water would not come after him. They would need the entire ship’s crew to fight against this bunch.

Bill raised his head high as they descended down the hill and he came face to face with his arch-rival, the captain and fearsome pirate Gloomsday.

“Well, if it isn’t my good friend Bill,” Gloomsday said with a sneer. The Sea Dog squirmed in his sack at the pirate’s tone of voice.

“The seas are about to be so much...nicer...freer...sweeeeter,” Gloomsday continued, in a voice dripping with honey, “without this plague and scourge of the seas and his lame sidekick.” Gloomsday’s gaze darted to the sack where the Sea Dog was writhing in eagerness to get out.

Sparky heard Gloomsday’s footsteps approach and smelled his foul odor. He felt a hand touch the sack right on his neck. Just a few inches further down, and I can bite. Sparky willed the hand to travel down the sack. It did. His teeth snapped through the heavy burlap and latched on tight to Gloomsday’s fingers. Gloomsday gave a shout and a jerk, and the bag went flying, releasing the Sea Dog, who went running in circles and barking, staying just out of reach of the men, who kept running for him and diving to catch him, but in vain.

However, the melee was not enough of a distraction to give Bill the chance to escape. Strong arms hustled him toward the ship’s boat.

“Oh yes, do I ever have plans for you,” Gloomsday whispered to Bill in a sinister voice. “Don’t even think of getting rescued. You might as well abandon all hope now.” Bill held his head high and refused to answer.

~

Meanwhile, back on the other side of the island, Bill’s crew held a hurried conference. “Look at the tread marks on the ground,” one of them said. “Boots. These were not natives who took our Captain. Natives would have just speared them, anyway. If there are men here, then they must have a ship, and if that’s the case, we would be no match for them anyway if we follow them by ourselves. Let’s go back to our mates in the ship and sail around the island.”

It was already too late in the day, but they made haste to load up their barrels of fresh water into the ship’s boat and row back to the ship.

When they arrived there without their brave captain and his fearless dalmatian, there was no small amount of consternation among the crew. Fists clenched and men set their jaws with determination to do whatever it took to rescue their captain.

“Weigh anchor!” the first mate shouted. The ship started to move, and the crew worked all night to stealthily move along the coast of the island and around to the other side.

To Be Continued...

While you’re waiting to find out what happens to the Sea Dog, his captain, and the worried ship’s crew, check out the Sea Dog clothing line, where you’ll find long sleeve and short sleeve t-shirts and more items in our shop. These Sea Dog Shirts make great gifts for Father’s Day, so pick one up for dad and grandpa!

Arrr, Matey! Welcome to the Ol’ Sea Dog’s storytelling lair. While you buy Sea Dog t-shirts as gifts for your all friends, I’ll pour us a pint and tell ye the tale of the best bottle o’rum adventure as ever I did live through. 

After our last adventure, the old Sea Dog was left adrift on a ship in the midst of the sea, and though his friends had all disappeared, he didn’t lose heart. Nor did he lose weight, as the ship was still well-provisioned and Sea Dog helped himself to the bounty left in the kitchen.

When a pirate ship spotted the aimless vessel, they pursued it, and were surprised to find no one aboard except for the dalmatian. They searched the ship for valuables and took the Sea Dog aboard with them.

Lo and behold, what was their surprise and delight when they found an oak cask full of molasses in the hold of the abandoned ship.

“Oh Captain,” said the first mate, “Young Adams here knows how to distill a fine batch of rum. I propose that we land at a secluded spot, brew ourselves up a batch, and then sell it for its weight in gold at the nearest port.”

“A fine idea, matey,” the captain replied. “I know just the spot. We will make our way there at once.”

Two days later, the pirates came to an uninhabited island where they pulled into a quiet natural harbor where there was plenty of fresh water. Under Adams’s direction, the men created a number of lovely batches of rum and then set up camp to wait for it to ferment.

The Sea Dog took full advantage of the novelty of being on land, loping from one end of the beach to the other in pure, unfettered joy, and exploring all the scents and sounds of the island.

Soon, the day came when Adams said the rum was ready. “Let’s haul it aboard the ship, mates, and we’ll sell it for a good profit.”

“No doubt, no doubt,” murmured the first mate. “I just wonder if we should taste it first to be sure that it is of good quality. What say ye, captain?”

“Indeed, a small sip would be in order,” the captain said. “After all, we wouldn’t want to be run out of town for selling inferior goods.”

Just then, two of the men trudged up the beach, dragging a giant catch of fish behind them. They walked up just in time to hear this interchange between the captain and the first mate.

“Hooray!” they shouted. “A celebration in honor of the fine craft of our esteemed mate, Adams. Gather round, men! We will feast tonight!”

At the sight of the fish, the men set to work preparing a feast fit for a king, and as they sat down to eat, Adams passed around the cups.

“It’s good, eh?” one man said to another as they each took a long draught. “Wouldn’t hurt to have just a wee bit more, now would it, mate?” Vigorous nodding and cheers accompanied the proposal, and Adams was kept busy passing the cups around again and again and again. One of the older crew members pulled out a fiddle and the men started to jig late in the evening, until Adams went to draw from the tap and the barrel came up empty.

“It’s gone, mates!” he exclaimed, to a general moan of disappointment.

“Ah well,” the captain said, “We would have spent the money in port anyway. Come, let us to bed, and we’ll be off in the morning.”

To be continued.

Arrr, Matey! The Ol’ Sea Dog here, at yer service with a woof and a wag! Draw up a chair and I’ll spin ye a yarn while you shop for your favorite Sea Dog t shirt.

The old Sea Dog was aboard a vessel that had gotten lost in the fog in pursuit of the fabled mermaid isle. The sailors could already hear the beautiful sounds of singing, but they had no sight of the stars or the sun, and their compass seemed to be broken.

The sounds of singing grew louder, and the island almost seemed to pull them into its current. None of the sailors had the least thought of fear as the irresistibly lovely music drew them forward. Now they could go in no other direction. As they drew nearer and nearer to the island, they began to be able to make out indistinct shapes in the fog. Hills and trees rose before their eyes, and still, the singing continued.

The men, intoxicated with the beauty they were hearing, strained forward as if they could will the boat to approach faster. Just then, as if orchestrated by magic, the sun burst through the fog and shone a single beam on a rock. A mermaid reclined there, and a hush fell over the water as she took up a solo line in the song. Her high, clear, angelic notes crossed the water with heartrending sweetness. Then the clouds parted and the sun shone in full glory upon the whole beach, lighting up a multitude of other mermaids, each more beautiful than the other, who instantly broke into full chorus at the close of the leader’s solo.

Even our beloved dalmatian leaned forward to sniff the air at this new adventure. The men were aflame with desire that became stronger every moment. As their boat moved closer with what seemed excruciating slowness, the song ended, and the lead mermaid beckoned to them with her hand.

“Hail, hearty sailors,” she said, her voice carrying over the water in a tone that melted the heart of every man aboard. “Welcome to our island of delights. Few have ventured to come hither, but all those who do are invited to come ashore. Behold, we await your presence at a feast we have prepared in your honor. Make no delay, but come.”

Anticipating the reception they would receive, and unable to wait for the ship to come to land, the men began diving overboard and swimming toward shore in their eagerness to get closer. One by one, the men leaped into the water, swimming away from the ship with swift, sure strokes, until only the Sea Dog was left on deck.

The fog, which had parted, suddenly rolled thick back upon them. No longer could any of the men see the land or the ship. The exquisite music, which had guided them so infallibly before, had now ceased. The men cried for each other, seeking for guidance, but even their voices seemed swallowed up in the veil of fog that covered them, and none of them was ever heard from again.

And thus it was that the Sea Dog was found floating aboard an empty vessel many days later, with no explanation of how it got there, who the crew was, or why they had disappeared. But the Sea Dog lived to have another adventure with the sailors who found him.

To Be Continued.

The Original Sea Dog

Aarrr, matey! The ol’ Sea Dog here, at yer service. Ye’ve come to the right place for a rambunctious good time. Express yer personality with a Sea Dog t-shirt, the salty old dog who’s seen a hundred battles, weathered a thousand storms, and yet still has the wit and humor to pull a cheeky shenanigan now and again.

You weren’t thinkin’ that the ol’ Sea Dog was just a picture on a t-shirt, were ya now?

The Legend of the Old Sea Dog

Four hundred ninety years ago, when you were just a twinkle in your great-great-grandpappy’s eye, the Sea Dog was just a pup. And being a sea-loving chap as he was, he leaped aboard a small ship. “All aboard!” cried the captain, and they were off. 


They sailed for many a day, seeking the enchanted island of eternal youth. Our dear pup cheered the lonely sailors on the voyage, and each of the men, unbeknownst to the others, would sneak him a scrap from their rations. The Sea Dog grew happy, fat, and flourishing, but the men began to grow thin. Each day, the rations grew scantier. Each day, the men expected that the island of eternal youth would appear just over the horizon. They held on, scorning food, knowing that one step onto the enchanted isle would recover their health forever.

Then a storm swept the sea, and for 14 long days, they were driven backward, tossed to and fro, and spun around and around without a glimpse of the stars. One by one, the men dropped from starvation, and yet still, they held on. They were, in fact, in such close proximity to the Island that they had come into the the vortex of the enchanted breezes. Each man was convinced that even if all the others starved to death, still he would survive to reach the island.

(...to be continued in our next blog)